The Australian bushfires have affected everyone, consumed our attention, and ignited despair, anger, hopelessness, alongside outrageous political missteps. These fires have attracted the world’s attention and led to a massive outpouring of charitable action and donations from Australia and beyond.
I want to share what I believe about businesses getting involved with politics, charity and public affairs: in short, I believe there’s not nearly enough of it.
You can’t be a leader if you’re only here for the good times
For 12 years now, I’ve been teaching business people how to build their reputations as experts, leaders and authorities in their field. But this is just empty words if you’re only here for the good times. When difficulties, tragedies or challenges arise – this is where leaders are made.
Our lack of real political leadership has highlighted, yet again, the need for ethical, selfless, critical-thinking, future-focused leaders. And for those who would protest that they aren’t ‘experts’ in bushfires: what if Australian comedian Celeste Barber had concluded that comedians have no role to play in fundraising $50 million (and rising)? Or if Leonardo di Caprio had believed that actors had no relevance to environmental action? Or if Bill Gates believed he should stick with technology and not bother with philanthropy?
The state of the environment is everybody’s responsibility and has a direct impact on economics and business. We have demonstrated that capitalism doesn’t need to be at the expense of the environment or workers’ rights anymore. Businesses don’t just have a moral obligation to the planet – environmentalism is also an economic imperative.
[Tweet “You can’t be a leader if you’re only here for the good times”]
Your marketing demonstrates your values and makes up our collective culture
Marketing isn’t just about selling stuff. Marketing is communications, which is part of our culture which we’re all participating in. It breaks my heart – over and over again – when I see a lack of acknowledgment or response by businesses to issues that directly impact a particular sector, or that impacts the people that make up the community that a business is servicing. Your silence is deafening.
And please, I know how intimidating and scary it can be to join a debate on current affairs as a business owner. I am also guilty of staying silent to avoid risking inadvertently causing offense or provoking misunderstandings.
But ALL communications are innately challenging: communication is not what you say, it’s what other people hear – which is outside our control and can be fraught. But yet! We must stand up and stand for something. Or risk becoming irrelevant, ineffective, out-of-touch.
Values-based business are the way of the future. We are all media companies. We have far more power to influence culture than at any other point in history. We have the ability to decentralise power through creating our own work, to make a far greater impact in our local communities and to provide an alternative to the mainstream that is inclusive, loving, encouraging and empowering. This is within your power and remit, but only if you recognise it.
The personal and professional are not two separate spheres
Many people continue to believe that the public sphere and professional spheres should be kept separate. This is the increasing privilege of a minority who live without hardship, without physical or mental difficulties, who can afford to have their homelife taken care of by others so that they can access great swathes of unbounded time to dedicate to work.
These bushfires have been all-consuming – apart from the obvious limitations of clients of mine who’ve been affected by defending their homes, and getting access to electricity and internet connection once fires have swept through – but also to our ability to focus, to continue “business as usual” and to continue undeterred. It’s been incredibly difficult for many of us to continue to work at this time, despite needing to.
Work is not the domain of robots and software. Businesses are composed of people and we bring ourselves to work – in all our complicated, emotional, awe-inspiring and outrageous glory. This is especially the case for the self-employed but is equally applicable to big business, where the frailties of a single human at the top can have far more devastating consequences.
Revolutions are impossible until they are inevitable
This final line from Jess Hills’ monumental book, See what you made me do, borrowed from freedom fighter Albie Sachs, struck me in the heart this morning. In my experience, we are far more motivated to change by the need to move from the negative than by pursuing the positive.
These bushfires were just the push I need towards a dawning realisation that I need to do more. Not in future, when I have everything mapped out, thoroughly researched and prepped, but now. Imperfect action towards a common goal.
These are my beliefs and values. I’m hoping they’re yours, too.
That financially successful, emotionally sustainable, and personally rewarding work, of our own sweat and smarts, is not only possible but the way of the future.
That self-insight, self-confidence and self-advocacy are necessary to this.
That enterprise and entrepreneurism are vehicles towards social change and social good, particularly among marginalised communities, and to stimulate growth in isolated areas (Australia is a great country for this).
That self-expression, communication and story-telling is power! Especially stories that challenge the status quo, stimulate critical thinking, and provoke diversity and inclusiveness.
To this end, Hustle & Heart is:
Contributing a minimum 1% of all annual profits to a select few charities that promote environmentalism, literacy and numeracy, and ethics.
Offering a 15% discount off all courses, programs and memberships to people working at charities. You will need a registered charity number to access this.
Launching a scholarship program in March for my flagship program, Hustle & Heart, with further scholarships planned for other key courses later in the year.
A lot of these have been in the pipeline for some time. There were always details I hadn’t figured out yet, something to worry about or ponder over. But these bushfires have highlighted that there’s no time like now.
Personal training has rocked my world and had an irrefutable effect on my business – which is why I think it should be a business expense. Once you get up off the floor from laughing, hear me out!
Any type of one-to-one coaching or training is a privilege – it accelerates your progress and helps you overcome hurdles that may be insurmountable, or certainly far more difficult, alone. As a business coach, I intimately understand the benefits of one-to-one coaching.
But while I knew that exercise was good for fitness and mental health, I had overlooked the effect that personal training would have on my business.
The problem with identity
Our identity – or the stories about ourselves that we tell ourselves as well as others – has a massive influence on our lives. Our identity influences our thoughts, behaviors, what we do and don’t do. We all wear our identity as a unique pair of glasses through which we see the world. Most people are unaware of how these glasses colour their beliefs and views about everything.
My story, or identity, of fitness was that I wasn’t athletic. I was a bookworm who was banned from the school library at age eight and I read under the desk through every single lesson. I was an obsessive reader.
As a confirmed ‘non-sporty person’, I only partook in mandatory games, daydreaming in the outer fields, avoiding all balls.
When I found yoga at age 18, it suited my introspective nature. While yoga can be very athletic, it’s solitary and encourages reflection. It also doesn’t push: if you can do a full backbend (wheel pose) but you’re not in the mood that day, you can happily abstain, while reaffirming how in touch with your feelings you are.
For my clients, I regularly hear people say:
“I’m not good with money”
“I hate marketing”
“I’m not much of a planner”
“I’m not doing this for the money”
When these stories are repeated enough times, they form our identity which, over time, reinforces itself.
When what you say and what you do don’t add up
Sooner or later, my vanity got the better of me. So I decide I want to get fit and strong. And I join a gym. And I get intimidated by the machines and the jogging people, and I don’t go. A few years later, I join another gym and, you guessed it!, I don’t go.
When there’s a disconnection between what is said and what is done, then coaching can really weave magic.
We all know that we should eat more vegetables and drink less wine, go to bed early and avoid looking at our phones. But what we actually do? This is a culmination of our habits, circumstances, emotions, identity, socialisation, and values. When your core values are in opposition to each other, self-loathing tends to result. And self-loathing can be a great motivation to start.
Many of my business coaching clients start because of negative reasons: they’re stressed out; their accountant has inferred they’re not earning enough; their partner is putting pressure on them to earn more; their working career has become untenable.
The same with personal training: when my self-loathing and frustration was deep enough, I joined my local Willoughby Vision Personal Training (hi Nick!) and took up personal training. (The below video was filmed at Vision Willoughby by one of my daughters during the school holidays. Yes, I think dancing is an act of community service.)
Commitment to consistency
One of the benefits of coaching is having the commitment with someone external to yourself. Our extrinsic motivation tends to be far stronger than our intrinsic motivation. In other words, we will break a commitment with ourselves far more easily than we will break a commitment with someone else.
I’m someone who values integrity – which means if I tell someone I’m going to do something, I’m far more likely to follow through because I want that person to know I’m a person of my word.
The commitment with my personal trainer Kate meant that – unless I was working interstate – I was at the gym lifting weights twice a week, every week. Committing to something an effective process makes your progress almost inevitable. And by committing, you take choice out of the equation, thereby safeguarding your willpower and energy to spend on other things.
Says my trainer Kate, “Consistency is the most important; one meal won’t make you fat just like one workout won’t make you fit – it’s the combination of doing these things consistently where growth happens.”
The humiliation of learning something new
My first months of training were humiliating. I felt like a weak, idiotic doofus and I was incredibly self-conscious. (Much like the video, below, that I made for my clients.) I thought my trainer Kate was judging me and the other trainers were thinking I was a loser. I had to get over that.
We tell children to be patient and to do things repeatedly in order to learn them, but we’re far less likely to do this ourselves. Instead, we expect to be brilliant at new skills immediately and our frustration can quickly turn into self-loathing with new stories such as “I really suck at technology.”
Business is practical, not theoretical. We learn on the job. There’s no dress rehearsal. We are learning out loud, being seen and heard and inviting people to buy.
[Tweet “Business is practical, not theoretical. We learn on the job. There’s no dress rehearsal. We are learning out loud, being seen and heard and inviting people to buy.”]
We all testing the market with every single thing we sell, every time. And it can make us feel incredibly self-conscious. But we must go through this to get better at it – there’s no other way.
As my trainer Kate says, “I can’t do your reps for you” and business coaching is the same. I can give great advice and ideas, but ultimately, the business owner needs to do their own reps in order to get better.
High five [insert first name]!
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we didn’t need external validation and encouragement? Ha! I’m over feeling bad about liking compliments and wanting recognition, so I’ve decided to just embrace it.
It feels good when someone acknowledges you by name. It feels great when they say you’re working hard and doing a great job. It feels wonderful to receive a compliment. This shows we’re social beings, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that.
Ideally, working with a coach enables you to become your own cheerleader and while I think I’m pretty good at cheering myself on, it’s feeling bloody awesome when your coach acknowledges your ‘grind’ (as they say in the gym), commitment, and progress.
The satisfaction of progress
Seeing your own progress gives a great sense of satisfaction, which is very motivating. In business, we measure sales revenue and profit, the number of leads and inquiries, volume of website visitors, and any number of other things.
At the gym, we measure time spent exercising, weights being lifted, and food (okay, so I’m not so good at that bit. I like cooking and eating too much).
It is incredibly satisfying noting your progress – this is why I keep my old invoices, bad Facebook videos and terrible graphic design, because it reminds me how far I’ve come.
I’ve felt massive satisfaction from being able to do things I couldn’t, lift heavy weights like a superhero, and notice the extra stamina and energy I have – this has had a demonstrable effect on my business.
Rebuilding your identity
The process of adulting is the process of deconstructing your socialisation and rebuilding your identity – but only if you take up this challenge.
[Tweet “The process of adulting is the process of deconstructing your socialisation and rebuilding your identity – but only if you take up this challenge.”]
My old identity was as a thinker, not a doer, someone who was grateful and satisfied, not striving and overcoming, someone who was spontaneous and joyful, not goal-oriented.
Identities are complex. Embrace your paradoxes (hence the name Hustle & Heart). My new identity is someone who is strong, capable, ambitious, competitive, high-energy and upbeat. Parts that are no longer serving me, in life or business include cynicism; self-pity; complacency; depression.
Says my trainer Kate, “Exercise is about so much more than looking good; it’s about improved sleep, more energy, the endorphin rushes (which Brook loves!), and having the strength and stamina to move through life pain-free, or as good as.”
How personal training has helped my business
Your mental health and resilience are critical when you’re self-employed. Personal training has meant that the winter blues are no longer a thing. I still have bad days or weeks, but far, far fewer of them.
Consistency is far, far more valuable than flashes of random brilliance.
Imagine being a personal trainer working right next to your competition – you can hear what they are telling their clients and they can hear you. So what? Competition is part of life so stop wasting time worrying. Embrace the fact that your competitors are also your colleagues.
Goals give you clear direction to guide your behavior.
Work hard, rest. Work harder, rest better. Business is not all gratefulness or all hustle. We need both hustle and heart, work and rest.
Measurements are crucial to achieving your goals as well as measuring your progress, which powers your motivation.
Motivation is internal and external: use both.
Coaches don’t tell you what to do, they work with your personality so that you actually follow through and do it. Coaching is psychology, not a shopping list.
Confidence in business and life isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s something you practice. Confidence is a verb.
As children, our self-confidence is either nurtured or harmed. As we accrue experiences, we become confident in some areas while being unconfident about things we know little or nothing about, or have been told we’re “bad at”. This isn’t a life sentence.
You likely already know how important self-confidence is in business. You’ve likely witnessed people with far less skill and experience than yourself pitch themselves successfully due to their seemingly gargantuan self-confidence. And, you likely have hugely talented people in your life who hold themselves back due to low self-confidence.
We don’t all have an equal playing field upon which to build our self-confidence and it would be ridiculous to suggest this. Some people have experienced significant trauma or massive disadvantages. This article is not intended to replace therapy or minimise the very real, systemic discrimination and hardships that some experience.
However, if you know your self-confidence is holding you back in business, you’re not really sure why, and you’re keen to change this, here’s what I’ve learned, practiced, coached and trained others to do over the last 11 years.
“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” (Barrie Davenport)
The most popular ways in which we undermine our self-confidence
Do any of these sound familiar?
“I don’t know enough/I’m not experienced enough to charge X.”
“I really love what I do, so I should just be grateful that I’ve the privilege to do it.”
“Nobody in my industry earns more than $X. It’s just how it is.”
“I really like this client so I’ll bend my terms to accommodate them.”
So why do we have low self-confidence in business?
Some of the biggest reasons include:
We’ve been socialised to believe that being likable is crucial to our value, so we tolerate bad behaviour from clients and prospects because we want to be liked.
We are wedded to a story that’s linked to our identity about why we can’t possibly progress in business (children, bad jobs in your past, an unsupportive partner, etc.)
We derive a lot of our self-worth and identity from what we do, so we take all setbacks as a personal slight.
We have procrastinated on launching something we say we really want to do, which compounds, leading us to feel lacking in skill, focus, or follow-through.
We suspect we’re a fraud or imposter and are hiding in plain sight, taking the safe route in business to avoid attracting attention and getting caught out.
We’re surrounded by naysayers, particularly those passive-aggressive types who undermining us subtly.
Our boundaries are weak, making it easy for others to influence our minds and moods.
The best, most practical ways to build your confidence in business
Done with self-loathing, despair, and all that jazz? Here are the most practical tools you can you to practice self-confidence in business.
Scare yourself regularly
You know that business leaders make bold moves, regularly. What you may suspect, though, is that they do so because they’re not scared, but feel hugely confident. Not true.
“Overcoming fear is the first step to success for entrepreneurs.” (Richard Branson)
Put this into practice:
At the same time once a week, every week, first thing in the morning, do the things that scare you. Call people. Introduce yourself. Chase overdue accounts. Propose or pitch for new business.
Do this in your personal life as well – take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try but were secretly scared to. Try new things that take you outside your comfort zone.
Take your self-care seriously
I’ve spoken about the importance of self-care many times before. Especially if you are pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, you need to increase your self-care. You only need to be brave for a minute, then you can retreat back into your self-care cave to eat ice-cream and slam Netflix series.
Put this into practice:
Self-care is built on saying ‘no’. Practice saying no as a complete sentence, without the need to apologise or justify.
Boundaries are intimately related to self-care. Review your professional boundaries, starting with communication. Unless you are an emergency doctor, make yourself un-contactable by clients and prospects outside of business hours.
Life’s a stage
How you act affects your intrinsic self-confidence and extrinsic confidence – or how others’ perceive you. Check out Amy Cuddy’s fabulous talk on how your body language shapes how others treat you, as well as how you perceive yourself (ie: your self-esteem).
“The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.” (William Jennings Bryan)
Put this into practice:
Always get dressed for work and start your day in the same way you would if you were working for someone else. Yes, even if your workplace is your dining table or kitchen bench.
Take up more space in a room – choose the better chair at the table, stand tall, with your shoulders back, use more eye contact.
Watch how other people you perceive as confidence move. What looks natural that you could emulate?
Don’t offer discounts, freebies and undersell yourself. Do you know, deep down, that you should raise your prices? If so, do it now.
Move
The quickest and easiest way to change your mood and improve your sense of control is to move.
Put this into practice:
Change your surroundings when you feel your mood slump. Leave your desk, have a cup of tea in the sun, go bushwalking, walk the dog, or visit an art gallery.
You most need exercise when you’re stressed AND this is likely the first thing you’ll drop. So counter this by exercising with a buddy. You’re less likely to let down someone else than yourself. Make an exercise routine and stick to it – with help.
If you work from home, consider becoming a member of a co-working space. (I’m a WeWork member.) You could also work with friends, your mafia or have a regular weekly date, with a notepad and pencil, in your favourite café.
Find your mafia
Being self-employed can be a lonely business, but it doesn’t have to be! You can reduce your overthinking, booster your confidence, access shortcuts, and build your referrals by finding your business mafia.
Put this into practice:
Start noticing people who you interact with regularly on social media. If you haven’t already done so, line up a Skype date, phone call or coffee.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Nobody is immune from needing help. Don’t forget to keep the good karma circling.
Line up drinks and dinner with a group of like-minded awesome-type people in business.
Mark your progress and celebrate your milestones
When we’re in the trenches, it’s easy to lose sight of our goals, overlook our progress and be too busy (or feel silly) celebrating our milestones. Fortify your self-confidence by noticing and celebrating you!
Put this into practice:
Don’t delete old marketing pieces or proposals that you’re ashamed of. Regularly look back on what you’ve done to see how far you’ve travelled.
Celebrate the end of the financial year, when you submit your BAS, your business anniversary date, when you finish a big project, or score a big project. Celebrate yourself the way you’d celebrate an employee. Be a good boss to yourself.
Be kind to yourself
If you’re stuck in a rut, having a crisis of confidence, first know that you are not alone. We all lose our business mojo sometimes, sometimes due to external events such as changing life circumstances such as grief, overwork or knock-backs from clients or prospects.
You can find your way back from a crisis, but first, be kind and patient with yourself. Take it slowly. Lower your expectations and extend your timelines.
Don’t neglect your friendships because you’re busy. If you’re feeling really overstretched, combine catching up with friends with exercise – go for a walk, an exercise class, or try something different, like rock climbing. Talk it out. Keeping your stress, grief, overwhelm or anxiety to yourself only prolongs it.
The price of freedom is constant vigilance
As confidence is a practice, it never ends. I don’t aim to be 100 per cent confidence 100 per cent of the time. I’m seeking fewer bouts of low self-confidence, less often, and to pick myself up more quickly each time.
When you’re in a slump, everybody looks more confident and more successful than you. Don’t believe everything you think. Unless you’re privy to someone else’s indiscrete, unethical accountants and psychologists, you have no way of knowing how successful or otherwise another business person is. Keep your eyes on your own business and practice self-confidence, one day at a time.
“Opinions are like arseholes, everyone’s got one.” (Simone Elkeles)
When you’re mired in Stuckville, population you, you tend to go advice shopping. You seem to be the only loser here and everybody else appears to have their shit together, adulting hard. You’re sorely tempted to tap them up for advice.
Advice and opinions are wonderfully diverse and oftentimes wacky. But sometimes advice is the last thing you need. Not to miss the irony; here be an advice column on how to know when advice is the last thing you need.
Forcefulness
Confidence is contagious, which is great if you’re a good, honest soul seeding a noble cause, but borderline disastrous if those sporting the forceful opinion are deluded or stupid, with the ethics of a barbarian.
Those sporting forceful opinions are far more easily believed because their self-assurance indicates surety, and surety is sexy. So many people build a business (or govern the United States) based on forcefulness driven by deep self-belief. It doesn’t mean these people are right, but that’s no help when you’re swept up in the forceful opinions of the loud and proud.
If you’ve come up for air some months or years later, and realise you made a big mistake in following a forceful opinion, take heart. There are many more people like you.
Women
Telling women what to do is a long-standing institution and past-time. At the risk of perpetuating gender stereotypes, women tend to be more collaborative, accommodating and likely to research far more than men, so they are ripe for the opinions of others.
As a woman, you’ve been socialised to research thoroughly and seek advice and opinions before taking action. Making decisions without soliciting opinions may feel, when unpracticed, like a preposterously selfish, rebellious or hazardous move.
Also as a woman, you’ll be privy to all sorts of unasked-for opinions, especially if you’re pregnant or accompanied by young children. Learning how to smile and shake off the opinions of strangers is a woman’s lot.
Opinion shopping
You know you’re opinion shopping when you go out of your way to hear the most bizarre and seemingly unworkable opinions around. It’s a lovely distraction from moving forward.
[Tweet “You know you’re opinion shopping when you go out of your way to hear the most bizarre and seemingly unworkable opinions around. It’s a lovely distraction from moving forward.”]
Another fun game is to shop for opinions until you find one that closely matches your own, so you can agree with it. In all your enthusiasm of agreement, you can actually convince yourself that you’re making progress.
Talk talk
Perhaps the biggest killer of opinions is the joy of opinions themselves. Oh-so-delicious, they can be consumed day and night for months and years, and you’ll still be no closer to anything vaguely resembling progress.
Opinions are like junk food – they’re delicious on the way down, but can cause bloating, gas, indigestion. Most importantly, they don’t fill you up. You’ll be hungry to consume more opinions in one hot minute.
Intuition
Intuition is not some magical, never-fail power. It’s sometimes bang-on and sometimes way off. Being slavishly devoted to your influence puts you at the mercy of your emotions, which change with your knickers.
Sure, pay attention to intuition, but for god’s sake don’t put it above all else, including common sense and serendipitous opportunities.
Implementation differs
Advice and opinions keep you busy and distracted from the reality of making progress. Progress, in all its marvelous glory, can seem like dancing the tango with someone with two left feet – there are lots of sideways steps, some back-and-forth, and you’ll likely get dropped several times.
Progress is hugely satisfying, and fuels your next tango. But you’ll never experience the joys of the tango if you’re stuck in the sidelines, comparing and contrasting opinions.
Your next best step is the only thing you need to do. It might feel like a sideways or backward step, but you’ve got no way of knowing the end of the dance you’re doing. You’ll never know if you can’t take that next best step.
I’ve never been very good at saying good-bye. This made life difficult when I was a tour leader in South-East Asia, where good-byes were part of the job description. Of course, there were many passengers I was happy to see the back of – I’m no saint. But when I’d bonded with someone over an intense cross-country adventure, it never became any easier to bid farewell.
We humans become attached – to people, to outcomes in our business, to our identities as a self-employed person – regardless of whether or not we appreciate that desire is at the root of all suffering, according to Buddhism.
One of my biggest lessons from my last 10 years of self-employment is the delicate dance between the power of focused ambition towards a desired outcome, while also being unattached to the outcome, so as to preserve sleep, sanity and happiness. This is also one of the key teachings of the Bhagavad Gita.
This play of paradoxes is very apparent in business coaching.
Putting your all in
Around seven years ago, I began running public courses for business owners on digital marketing where a course participant asked if I offered one-to-one business coaching. And so I began.
Over the last several years, I’ve transitioned from implementing digital marketing for clients to coaching and training on digital marketing and thriving in self-employment.
As a digital marketer, I can write website navigation and design user experiences, weave words, create social media materials, give direction to my website designers and graphic designers. I can point to the tangible digital creations that I’ve created.
As a business coach, my work is words: advice, insight, questions and information.
At first, it was strange just to talk and listen. I put a lot of emotion into my coaching sessions, perhaps as an attempt to replace the tangible. If I felt a client was hard done by, I’d get angry on her behalf. If a client was depressed, I’d attempt to cheer them up.
But it’s not sustainable being emotionally provoked by your clients. It’s not good for you, nor the client. As time went on, I took a step back and became a little more zen.
All care and no responsibility
The old adage “all care and no responsibility” particularly applies to business coaching. Since evolving my attitude, an interesting thing has occurred: I’ve attracted far more emotionally mature clients who take responsibility for the wins and disappointments of their businesses.
They’re far more likely to question my advice to ensure they’ve thoroughly understood what I’m saying and tested out my ideas. They’re far more likely to discuss ideas and advice on equal footing and far less likely to treat me as an information-dispenser or take every word I say as gospel.
They ask intelligent, thoughtful questions, learn from mistakes quickly, and are keenly interested in how their socialisation, beliefs, attitudes and habits impact their actions in business.
When you deeply appreciate that every individual is an independent agent, you cannot take credit for their business wins. Taking an attitude of all care and no responsibility means less drama and more progress, less spinning your wheels standing still and more enjoyment and satisfaction of business (and life).
Your marketing repels and attracts a very particular type of person
The inconvenient truth of business coaching is that there’s far more involved in a successful coaching relationship than the skills of the coach. The particular type of person that the coach attracts is pivotal.
A person who’s energetic, emotionally mature and resilient is likely to get more out of business coaching, and likely to give better testimonials, than someone who’s seeking a coach to emulate, rather than learn from.
Not only will their results be poorer, because trying to emulate someone else is a recipe for disaster, but the coach will get referrals from other, similar people, which perpetuates the cycle.
Mutual respect and admiration
Our businesses are about far more than profits. When our marketing is powerfully compelling to an exact type of perfect-fit client (otherwise known as ‘your ideal client’), then the client/coach relationship is one of respect and admiration, where the collective energies are complimentary and productive.
This is one more reason why I care so much about marketing – your marketing attracts a particular type of person to you, which influences what you’re capable of delivering, the results you’re able to achieve, and who comes next. It’s about far more than pretty pictures or clickable headlines. Marketing matters: to your profits, your business’s sustainability, and your own satisfaction and happiness.
When we appreciate that we’re all intimately connected, we become far more discerning in what we say, how we say it, what we do and how we do it. Our focus becomes clearer and our discernment sharper. We get better at saying ‘no’ as well as ‘hell yes!’ And our marketing becomes far more natural, relevant, and powerful, as our trust deepens that we have everything needed to thrive in business, now and in future.
1. There is no specific income amount that spells success, so stop worrying about it.
2. Your business profit isn’t a signal of your worthiness as a human being, nor your ability to get the dance floor started (which is a most worthwhile skill).
3. However, business is about making money so if something is not making you money in business, stop doing it.
4. Being Internet Famous or Instagram Famous is not the same as being actually famous for doing something worthwhile.
5. Unsubscribe, unfollow and unfriend anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself and your business. Life’s too short.
6. Exposure and ego won’t pay the bills. Money pays both bills and holidays. And holidays make for more sex and good times so go for the money.
7. Journaling will not save you. Only god saves (just jokes).
8. Software doesn’t actually do any work for you, you still need skills. You don’t need a particular piece of software to be successful, you need skills.
9. Nobody really knows what they’re doing, so stop feeling like a fraud. We’re here for a good time, not for a long time.
10. If you hate public speaking, don’t start spruiking yourself as a speaker for ‘exposure’.
11. Diddling around on Facebook doesn’t mean you’re growing your business. Call it what it is and go watch another cat video.
12. Stop hiding from people. Pick up the bloody phone already. It’s far simpler, more effective and cheaper than creating a video series, crafting a marketing funnel and selling your kidney to pay for Facebook ads.
13. The time when you’re seeing Instagram ads for some new fangled marketing platform or tactic is about the time that it’s far less effective because the marketers jumped in and ruined everything.
14. Being vulnerable and authentic online does not make for trust and authority, it makes for voyeurism. Which would you rather attract?
15. Say yes to the goddamn mid-week lunch invite from your mate. You’re self-employed remember? Stop being an arsehole boss to yourself.
16. Avoid anyone who speaks of “zone of genius”. They aren’t genius enough for plain English.
17. Don’t hire anyone to write a plan for you. Not unless you’re also hiring them to implement the damn thing. You’re the boss, right? So why would you follow someone else’s map?
18. Ditto, beware of someone else’s system. It’s a system to them selling you a simple thing that works for them.
19. Womenfolk, it’s wonderful that we’re different to men. But let’s stop calling each other “babe” and talking about moon cycles and women cycles and then expect to be taken seriously.
20. Menfolk, stop over-promising and being so goddamn condescending. Talk down to people and you’ll attract idiots. Do you really want customers and no self-respect?
21. It’s perfectly acceptable to have “attract intelligent blog comments” as a business goal.
22. Similarly, it’s perfectly acceptable to not work Mondays, or Fridays, or weekends, evenings and holidays. Boundaries. And your rules, my friend.
23. Email auto-responders are also your friend.
24. Clients aren’t paying for your time. They’re paying for the outcome. Your expertise. Your experience. Your personality and perspective and opinion. Stop thinking about money in relation to time.
25. Forget about the goddamn flat lays. Uploading photos to social media feels productive. Show me the money.
26. If you change direction, branding, expertise, on the regular, don’t expect to grow your business. Your mother is having doubts about your flightiness, so what do you expect from strangers?
27. Sleep more. It’s awesome.
28. Before you throw in the towel, ditch the pitch, or shut up shop, consider your marketing. Are you doing any? Does it not suck? Are you reaching eyeballs? It’s probably your marketing that’s the problem, not the thing.
29. You need to talk more about what you do, to more people, without causing them to back away, scared. Take up coffee – it makes talking far easier.
30. When you’re planning for the new year, or even the next quarter, start with your holidays.
31. If you’re excited about your business development these holidays and didn’t really celebrate much because it turns out all your friends are also self-employed workaholics and you don’t really have any normal friends anymore, then it’s time you took a holiday, slept more and learnt how to get the dance floor started.
[Tweet “New Years goals that make you happy, not Nigel no friends”]
Hustle & Heart equips business owners in professional services to grow their business and reputation. Through business coaching, short courses, live masterclasses and peer-led masterminds, we help you to increase your profits and take-home pay, design a YOU-shaped Offerings Ecosystem, and say something worth listening to.
